


Just For One Night

by kradam_12321 (kay_elizabeth_roxx)



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-10
Updated: 2009-08-20
Packaged: 2017-10-10 12:44:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/99867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_elizabeth_roxx/pseuds/kradam_12321
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam really could not believe he was having this conversation. With Kris Allen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Aaaaadam!" Brad sang in terrible falsetto, bouncing over, slipping his arms around Adam's neck, and stretching up onto the balls of his feet to press a loud, wet kiss to his lips.

"You did great tonight, baby! 'Specially that Sam Cooke tune," Brad told him, his big, bubbly grin dominating his face. "Did they let you keep that coat from 'Mad World?' It sort of makes me want you to tie me up."

Adam let out a laugh, arms twining around his boyfriend's waist as he replied "They did, actually. Lucky you. And thanks, doll."

Him and Kris had just been released from the post-finale media circuses clutches, and were gathered out by the limos to say goodbye to their families. They were both completely worn out, but still anticipatory of the next day's excitement.

Adam's father, Eber, had about had a stroke when he was informed that his son would be performing with Queen. Fucking Queen. Plus, he got to dress up and perform with KISS, and show them just how well he could strut in platform boots. And fucking rhinestones, everywhere.

"I wish I could stay with you tonight..." Brad said, eyes hopeful.

"Me too, doll, but Idol won't have visitors this late in the game," Adam replied apologetically, and that was true-- Idol would allow nothing with the potential to distract or tire them. How they managed to maintain that mentality, and still chuck them mercilessly to the media, never failed to puzzle Adam. Talk about contradictions.

Brad gave a dramatic sigh before replying, half a smile on his lips, "Figures. But I don't see you nearly enough. I miss you." Adam knew Brad was trying to offset the deeper feelings behind the words with his airy humor, but Adam saw through the ruse. He'd been with Brad so long, he usually did.

"I know. I'm sorry," Adam replied, because what Brad was saying was absolutely true-- because of his decision to go out for Idol, they didn't get nearly enough time together. Adam knew it was unfair to Brad, but he had encouraged Adam to pursue his dream, in turn allowing the the slack in their relationship that the huge commitment created.

Idol hadn't forbidden him from telling the media about Brad, not exactly-- they had, however, 'strongly suggested' that he keep the relationship under wraps, and Adam had been in the business long enough to know that those two equated to about the same thing.

"Not your fault, baby. Idol is just, as a whole, prudish as all hell," Brad replied, cracking a grin.

Adam laughed, then turned his head as he heard Kris' voice call out, "C'mon, Adam, time to go!" Kris motioned towards the waiting limo, and Brad grinned at the Arkansas boy as he called out "Bye, Krissy!"

Kris had long stopped blushing at Brad's nickname for him, luckily, because once Brad got Kris blushing he was apt to try and fluster him even more. Just for shits and giggles.

Brad had spent a fair amount of time with the two of them, and he had taken an instant liking to Kris. Kris liked Brad very much, but as he told Adam one day with a laugh, "He sort of makes me want to go and take a nap."

Kris flashed Brad his adorable little lopsided grin, before pointedly tapping his foot on the pavement. Adam rolled his eyes at him with a smile before turning back to Brad.

"Bye, doll," Adam said, smiling gently down at the beautiful brunette.

"Bye, baby," Brad replied, stretching up to pull him into a long, sweet kiss. "I love you."

"Me too," Adam agreed, squeezing him for a second before moving off towards the limo, sending a wave over his shoulder as he slid in after Kris.

"You're damn impatient, Allen," Adam fake-growled, nudging him.

"Well I don't take twenty minutes to say goodbye to Katy," he shot back.

"Smart-ass," Adam replied, playfully sticking out his tongue at him.

They passed the ride with easy talk and banter, and truthfully, Adam was kind of sad that this constant closeness would shortly be coming to an end. Of course, he intended to keep in close contact with Kris-- but you never know 'close' until you're living together, alone, in a mansion.

Once they reached the mansion they went downstairs to their basement lair, as they referred to it, and split up into their rooms to change. Adam left his clothes on the floor and pulled on pj pants, quickly working through his routine of tooth-brushing and makeup removal.

He sat on the edge of his bed, stretching languidly, and Kris trotted in through their shared bathroom a minute later, perching by him on the bed. When they had been rooming together they'd always sat up and talked before bed, and being moved to seperate rooms didn't hamper that tradition one bit.

"Hey. I'm beat," Adam yawned, running a hand through his inky-black hair.

"Me too," Kris agreed, "It's hard to believe that tomorrow this'll all be over."

"Yeah," Adam replied, pausing and looking down at his nails. "I need to repaint my nails for tomorrow. I think I should do yours. End the show with a bang."

"No thank you," Kris declined with a laugh.

Adam sighed, smiling, and teasingly replied "You're too damn straight, Kristopher. I never get to have any fun." This was the type of comment that Kris would usually dismiss with a laugh and an eye-roll, but this time he was just silent, dropping his eyes to his lap before bringing them back up to Adam.

 

"Maybe... I'm not as straight as you think I am," He finally replied, no joke in his eyes or voice. Adam snorted out an incredulous laugh, then just stared when Kris remained silent. "So, what, now you're going to tell me you weren't ever really straight?

Kris stared down at his own clasped hands, eyebrows knitting together. "Well... I was, I guess, until... a while ago..." he said slowly.

Adam stared disbelievingly, replying "So you've just decided you're like, what, bi or something? What, some guy turn you on?" He really could not believe he was having this conversation. With Kris Allen. He wondered if he was dreaming. Or if someone had slipped something into his water.

Kris raised his head, staring at him like he was missing the most obvious thing in the world. Adam stared blankly back. No comprende.

Kris sighed and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, slowly replying "I don't know... You're really gonna make me say it? ...Fine. This is gonna sound so highschool, but I... I like you, Adam. And it's confusing the hell outta me."


	2. Chapter 2

Adam let out an incredulous laugh, eyes shocked as he looked over at Kris. What strange alternate universe had they entered?

"You... like me? Are you fucking kidding me, Kris? 'Cause if so, it's a really shitty joke," Adam replied, disbelief clear in his voice. His brain sort of felt like it was jammed, refusing to process Kris' words.

"No. I'm not joking. All I know is that I care for you in... ways I shouldn't, I guess. I like you. A lot," Kris replied, looking at his knees. "I really do sound like a teenager," he chuckled weakly after a moment of silence.

"But... You have Katy, Kris. And I have Brad..." Adam said, trying to inject logic into a completely illogical situation. And wasn't Kris fucking straight, anyway?

"I know," Kris said, running a hand through his tousled hair, "It's not like I expect anything. I love Katy, I really do... but..." Kris was silent for a few long moments, then his eyes swung up to meet Adam's, lit by a new, slightly desperate determination, uncertainty only slighty peeking through. "Would you... Would you kiss me?"

"Kris!" Adam exclaimed, shocked, but he couldn't keep his eyes from sweeping over Kris' toned, naked chest as he sat there in just his pj pants that were riding low and oh fuck, nunsdeadpuppiesDannyshirtless.

Adam can't deny that he wants him, he always has-- the tousled brown hair, the goofy little half-grin, the Southern routes, the laid-back temperament... it all appealed to Adam, but he'd never planned on acting on his little crush. Never. He loves Brad, Kris loves Katy, end of story.

"But Kris... Katy, and Brad, and you're straight anyway..." he managed to choke out, and could Kris like not lick his fucking lips like that?

"I'm sorry, that was stupid," Kris hurriedly replied, looking embarrassed and flushing a light pink. "And not completely, apparently."

And suddenly, finally, Adam's self-restraint shattered, broke to extent where Adam felt nothing was real, not Katy, not Brad, just him and Kris, separated off into their own universe.

Adam slowly brought a hand up to Kris' jaw, cupping the side of his face as the other man's brown eyes flashed up to his own, surprised. Adam looked wonderingly down at the smaller man, quietly murmuring "But I do... I want... Just..."

Adam searched Kris' face for a second that seemed to stretch into an eternity, and when he could find nothing signifying that he wanted him to stop, he leaned down to him, gently pressing his lips to Kris'.

Kris' lips were soft and warm beneath Adam's, tasting sweetly of his citrus-flavored toothpaste, and Adam pulled back after a long second, locking gazes with Kris. Kris' eyes were blazingly determined once more, and he stretched up to kiss Adam again, arms snaking around his neck.

Adam moved closer, bare chest pressed tight to Kris' as their kisses elongated and deepened, Kris' lips parted invitingly against Adam's. Adam knew it was wrong, completely wrong, but the press of Kris' body and the gradually intensifying passion of his kisses felt undeniably right. Adam finally fully gave himself over to it, parting his lips and licking his way into Kris' mouth with a throaty groan.

Adam caught Kris' bottom lip between his teeth, nipping lightly before slowly trailing the tip of his tongue across it, marveling at the fantastically decadent taste of him as his hands mapped the unfamiliar terrain of Kris' body, fingers slowly running down across his chest, then stomach, before curving around to caress the expanse of his back.

Kris' slightly hesitant hands trailed down across the freckled planes of his chest and over his stomach, moving to grip at the waistband of his low-slung pajama pants.

"Are you sure?" Adam breathed against Kris' lips, meeting the smaller man's gaze.

"...Not really, no," Kris murmured breathlessly, then hungrily recaptured Adam's lips, tongue roughly pushing between them. Adam groaned as heat radiated throughout his body, settling into his groin as he pushed Kris back onto the bed, hovering over him as their tongues battled for dominance, teeth clashing as they passed the point of no return.

Kris' fingers, still curled around Adam's waistband, began to tug at the fabric, pulling it down to his knees and revealing his hard-on. Kris looked down the length of his body at him, choking out "God, Adam," as Adam moved to suck at his neck, tongue soothing the hot skin as his teeth nipped.

Adam swept his lips down, licking into the dip behind his collarbone before moving to tease at his nipple, rolling the erect point between his teeth and flicking his tongue, relishing the low noises of pleasure vibrating up Kris' throat.

Adam pulled back to sit between Kris' upraised knees, tugging off his pants and kicking his own off the rest of the way. Kris, unlike Adam, was wearing briefs, and Adam eyed the straining bulge in them, slowly running his hands up the insides of Kris' quivering thighs and asking "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," Kris gasped, completely sincere. Adam's hands reached the joining of his legs and traced over his straining erection, burning hot and hard under Adam's hand as he lightly squeezed. His touch sent Kris frantically groaning, bucking his hips up and pleading "Please, Adam... ooh, do it, please..."

"I will baby, I will," Adam assured him, one hand palming Kris' cock through the fabric as the other slowly stroked down from his navel, fingers hooking under the elastic, Kris jerking and making pleasured noises as Adam pulled off the briefs and tossed them aside. Kris' cock sprung up, free of the restricting fabric, and lay heavy and hard against his stomach, flushed a deep red and leaking.

Adam leaned in, tongue flicking out to taste the pre-come leaking from his slit, and Kris groaned a low note, eyes dark with lust. Adam licked from base to tip with the flat of his tongue before locking his lips around the sensitive head, tongue tracing swirls on the skin. Adam slowly slid his way down his length, bobbing his head as Kris bucked his hips erratically, whimpering in pleasure and fucking his mouth with wild abandon.

"A-adam, I'm gonna-" Kris stuttered after a short minute, then came apart a second later in Adam's mouth with a shuddering gasp. Adam swallowed him down, wave after wave of heat, then slowly pulled off with one last swirl of his tongue.

He moved up to straddle the panting smaller man's hips, and despite his after-shock daze Kris' hand found Adam's cock, stroking hard and fast, and after only a few sweet pulls it was over, Adam's seed spilling hot over Kris' hand. Adam shook through his explosive orgasm, bracing his hands against the mattress on either side of Kris' head, and cried out Kris' name one last time before collapsing down overtop of him in an exhausted heap.

They mustered up the energy to move a minute later, Adam rolling off Kris and wiping them off with a pillowcase, tossing it aside before stretching out beside Kris. He pulled the sheet up over them, sighing happily when Kris cuddled up to him, laying his head on his shoulder and flinging an arm over his chest.

"Adam, that was... unreal..." Kris said huskily, pressing a kiss to his neck.

"Hell yeah it was," Adam replied, kissing Kris' temple softly and tightening his arms around him, just like he did with Br-

And it was just about then that Adam's fantasy world collapsed around him with a crash, the reality of what had just happened hitting him like a semi. "Oh fuck, Kris, I'm sor-"

"No," Kris said fiercely, cutting him off and pressing a hard kiss to his lips. "Don't you dare. Please don't think like that. Not now. Just... let me be with you for a while."

Adam looked down at him for a moment, then nodded. He wanted to be immersed in this world, for just a little longer. Kris kissed along his jawline, lips gentle against his skin, and this should feel awkward, Adam knew that... but it didn't. It just felt peaceful. Good. Brad, his mind shouted at him, but he stiffled the voice. For now, just for this one night, he was Kris'.

Adam wanted to put off bringing up the inevitable truth, god did he ever, but that wasn't right. They both knew how this would end for them.

"You know this won't work after Idol," Adam said quietly, shifting Kris to look at him.

"...Yeah," Kris replied after a moment, rubbing a hand over his face. They left things unsaid that they both knew-- they both had people they love to return to, this had been a mistake. They wouldn't be like this again after tonight.

"Yeah," Kris repeated, pressing his face against Adam's neck, "I know. But we have until tomorrow."

Adam closed his eyes and nodded, holding Kris close. They would forget about everything, just until then.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hooome," Brad sighed happily, entering into their little studio apartment. "Finally you're here too."

Adam smiled over at him as he set his suitcase by the door, his stomach clenching nervously. "Yeah, it's good to be back here."

He'd finally been released from post-Idol media and their irritatingly repetitive questions-- how he felt about getting runner-up, what he planned to do now, etc, etc. Adam hadn't spent hardly any time alone with Kris since that night, which was probably a good thing. He still didn't know what to make of the morning after.

~

Adam eased slowly into consciousness, first registering that he was very warm, then that he was wrapped around another body. His eyes flew open as the previous night came flooding back into his mind, but his expression softened as he saw Kris' face, smooth and peaceful in sleep.

Adam smiled gently and ran his fingers through Kris' hair, leaning over to kiss his soft lips. Kris sighed a sleepy noise against Adam's lips as he kissed him awake, his eyes slowly cracking open when Adam pulled back.

"Hey," Kris sighed contentedly, and then, suddenly, his eyes widened in alarm, the sleepy haze abruptly cleared from them. "Oh shit, Adam, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-" Kris said, bolting up from the bed, gathering his clothes and muttering frantic curses under his breath as he pulled on his briefs and pj pants.

Adam watched from the bed, propped up on his elbows. "Kris, wha-"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have started that, fuck," Kris cut him off, moving to hover by the door, looking conflicted.

Finally, he walked over to the bed, leaning in to cradle Adam's face in his hands and press a heartbreakingly gentle kiss to his lips.

"I'm not mad at you, Adam, don't think that," Kris murmured, looking down at him, "and you'll always be my best friend. And I wasn't lying. I want... It just... It can't work."

With that he straightened up and moved away, disappearing through the door and leaving Adam there to try and convince himself that he didn't already miss the scent of his skin and the brush of his lips.

~

That morning had brought the unspoken knowledge that they both had to ignore the part of them that wanted the other, and things weren't awkward between them after that point, just... careful. Because it would be all too easy to forget again.

Brad sauntered over and sat back onto their old thrift-store sofa, sighing. Adam slowly followed and took a seat by him, nervously rubbing his hands against his thighs. Adam saw as Brad noticed his nervous habit playing out, and, before Brad could question him, Adam said "Brad, um, I... I have to tell you something."

Brad's warm brown eyes swept up to meet his, happy and unsuspecting. "Yeah?"

Adam swallowed convulsively, forcing the words out. "I'm so sorry, doll, but I... I slept with someone. I slept with Kris."

Brad looked over at him, face showing surprise, but conspicuously lacking the anger Adam had expected.

"Oh. Um... Well... how was he?"

Adam's eyes widened and he gave a shocked laugh, replying "Okay, Brad, I tell you that I cheated on you, and you ask me how the sex was?"

Brad shrugged, half a smile on his lips and a very 'oh well' look on his face. "Just tryin' to lighten up the atmosphere. Don't beat yourself up about it, honey. I mean, don't make a habit of it, obviously, but... I won't kick you to the curb for one fling. I mean, he is cute."

Okay, was everyone out to shock him this week? He didn't quite believe what he was hearing. "You're seriously this cool with it?"

Brad laughed, probably at the look on his face, and flashed him a smile, replying "I love you, dork. And I forgive you."

Brad pressed in closer, slipping his arms around Adam's neck, his tiny frame fitting against Adam's as he stretched up to kiss him.

When they made love that night it was amazing as ever, Adam's hips pumping smoothly as Brad clenched tight and hot around him, his lean body thrown into sharp definition by the lamplight, hot wet kisses and cries of pleasure... but Adam felt almost disjointed, loving Brad and trying to ignore the feeling that he'd left part of himself back with Kristopher Allen.

And as Adam traced the familiar planes of his lovers face, he couldn't help but to think, just for a moment, of citrus-tinged lips.


	4. Chapter 4

"Adam, I... I just don't think this is going to work anymore."

Brad sat by Adam on the bed, eyes apologetic, but definitive nonetheless. It was two weeks after Adam had told him about Kris, two weeks in which Adam struggled to make this work, this formerly seamless relationship.

Adam had called Kris the day after he had told Brad, and Kris had laughed at Brad's initial reaction.

"Yeah, I told Katy, too," he had said, sounding a little worn, but otherwise normal. "She didn't take it too badly. We've decided to work through it."

With that one sentence the kind of sick hope Adam had been maintaining had come crashing down. Kris had moved on, Adam thought, so why couldn't he? He tried, he tried so hard to love Brad the way he deserved to be loved, but little images, the shine of Kris' hair, the soft brown of his gentle eyes, the sharp angles of his hips, invaded his mind, driving him mad with a thousand different emotions. And now, two weeks later, Brad was telling him that it was over.

Adam looked over to him, eyes showing shock, but he really shouldn't be surprised that it had come to this.

"Why? If this is about what happened with Kris, I'll do anything you want, please, I'm so sorry," Adam replied in a rush, because regardless of his confused feelings, Adam couldn't imagine life without Brad. The concept was terrifying, lonely.

Brad shook his head, eyes a little wet, and replied "No, that's not it. It's just... you're never around anymore. It's nonstop interviews, studio sessions, meetings... I hardly even see you anymore. And even when you are around, you're never really there. You always just seem... detached. We don't talk like we used to, you don't hold me like you used to, and... I just can't seem to make you happy anymore. I can tell that I'm not who's on you mind most of the time anymore."

Adam just stared at him dumbly, mind slowly absorbing the reality of what was happening. "I'm sorry," Adam finally said, voice small and hollow.

"There isn't anything to apologize for," Brad said, leaning over to kiss him, brief, soft, and sad. "I know you've been trying. But sometimes... things end for a reason. And you know I'll always love you."

Brad stood then and slowly left the room, and Adam thought that now he truly knew karma, and that this might just be what he deserved.

~

Adam sat alone at the bar of the club, staring at the fruity concoction between his hands. He sighed and drank down the last of it, setting a few bills on the bar and standing to leave. The pounding techno beat blasting from the dance floor was making his head throb.

The ground tilted under his feet as he made for the exit, pushing through the tight-packed, gyrating bodies. He briefly considered picking someone up-- there were plenty of obviously willing guys here-- but he decided he was both too tired and too drunk to even enjoy getting laid. That might be a first.

He finally tottered out onto the sidewalk, looking out into the street for a taxi and ignoring the group of guys near the door making eyes at him.

"Adam!" he heard a familiar female voice call out, and he turned to see Scarlett, trotting down the sidewalk towards him.

"Hey," Adam said as she reached him, pulling him into a hug.

"And you're drunk," she stated, stepping back and peering up at him.

"Sorta," Adam slurred, scratching at the back of his neck and half-closing his eyes against the too-bright headlights of passing cars.

Scarlett sighed and said "I'm just heading back to my car. I was at a party a block up, I tried to invite you but you never answered my text. I'll drive you home, I've only had two drinks, a while ago."

Adam nodded and thanked her, following behind as she made her way down the sidewalk, and mostly succeeding in staying relatively steady. Damn tilty pavement.

Soon they were driving down the street, passing glowing lights and neon signs, the city very much awake.

Scarlett looked over at him disapprovingly, saying "It's been a month, Adam. You shouldn't be clubbing this hard." And he had been clubbing hard, spending all of his nights in sketchy clubs, drugs and booze, a different guy in his bed every night, always gone by morning. His world just felt empty now, pointless, and even his music couldn't fill it, couldn't fill the aching void in his chest.

"I know I shouldn't," Adam sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. They soon pulled up to his new apartment, much nicer and bigger than his old one, and Scarlett locked the car and followed him in.

Adam fell back onto the couch as she disappeared into the kitchen, emerging a minute later with a bottle of water.

"Drink," she commanded, throwing it to him, "And you should really eat something, too."

He managed to catch the bottle, then obeyed, the cool liquid soothing his throat.

Scarlett sat in an armchair across from him, continuing "Seriously, Adam. I know it hasn't been that long, and I know how much you cared for him, but you could atleast attempt to make some progress. The world hasn't ended."

"I know," Adam said, finger tracing around the rim of the water bottle as he struggled to find words to describe his feelings. "But I'm just... everything just seems kinda... hollow, you know?"

"Then you should find something to fill it," Scarlett promptly replied. "Other than clubbing."

Just then a chorus of 'Walk This Way' started up from Adam's pocket, and he pulled out his cell, staring down in surprise at the caller ID, which was displaying the name of the person whom he would least expect to be calling him at 2 AM. Besides his parents, maybe.

"It's Kris," Adam said, tossing the phone onto the couch cushion beside him. "I'll call him back some other time."

In a flash Scarlett was up, pressing the ringing phone into his hand and saying "Talk to him." She swiftly made for the door, calling out "You'll thank me later!" as she opened it and slipped out.

"Scarlett!" Adam called, but the door had already snapped shut. Adam sighed, looking down at the phone in his hand. He let Steven Tyler get through a few more words before sliding it open and bringing it to his ear, answering with a tired "Hello?"

"Hey, Adam, I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" His voice was odd, somehow, and he sounded strained.

"No, I just got in. Although this is an ungodly time for you to be calling me, if I do say so myself."

"Are you drunk? Adam, you shouldn't be spending so much time in bars," he replied, voice disapproving. Adam wondered if he and Scarlett were long-lost cousins.

"I had a couple drinks at the club," Adam replied, stretching out onto the sofa.

Kris was silent for a moment, before asking "Are you okay?"

Adam sighed quietly and replied "I'll live. It's just hard, 'cos I was with him for so long, living without him s'just..."

Kris made a sympathetic noise, before replying "I could come up." His voice was completely sincere, and Adam knew he would, too-- he was in LA for business that week, as he'd informed him by text that afternoon. The company wasn't unappealing, he wanted to see Kris more than he would let himself admit-- but he couldn't deal with that now, drunk and tired.

"I don't want a one night pity-fling, Kris," Adam said, but that was not what he'd planned on saying.

"Adam!" Kris admonished, sounding disapproving, but not really angry. "You know that's not what I meant. I wouldn't do that to you."

Before Adam could stop them, words were pouring out, pent-up bitterness from his break-up being shot at Kris.

"You already did!" he burst out, slurred. "You fucking sexed me up for one night then ran off back to your perfect life 'n left me with all the shit-"

"It's not all my fault, Adam-" Kris cut in, starting to sound offended, but Adam plowed on, the alcohol letting his misdirected anger explode out of him as the rational part of his mind screamed stop, fucking stop.

"-and you probably only said those things to get in my pants-"

 

"Stop," Kris cut in, voice icy and hard. "Stop right fucking there." Kris hardly ever swore, but he was now. "I didn't lie to get in your pants, Adam, what kind of person do you think I am? Shit, I care about you, I just wanted to see you, but what the hell?"

His voice became angrier as he went on, and before Adam could reply, he spat "Oh yeah, and if you're sober enough to even fucking care, I'm getting a divorce."

The harsh click of the line disconnecting gave way to ringing silence, and Kris' words left Adam feeling completely sober, his stomach clenching as he realized what he'd done, and what he may have lost for good.


	5. Chapter 5

Adam scrolled through his cell contacts, stopping on Kris' name. It was early, maybe too early to call, but he was going to drive himself insane if he waited any longer. Knowing he'd hurt Kris, and having to wait to do something about it due to something as stupid as time, made him want to explode.

He'd woken up that morning hungover, sore, and fucking horrified at himself, guilt and shame bubbling sickly in his stomach. How could he have said that shit? To Kris? He knew Kris probably wouldn't be inclined to talk, and had no real reason to accept an apology, but Adam had to call. Kris wasn't someone Adam could just give up.

Adam hit the call button, listening anxiously to the ringing line. When no one picked up, Adam tried, and failed, to convince himself that he was just asleep, not deliberately ignoring the call.

"Hey, it's Kris, leave me a message and I'll get back to you. *beep*"

Adam hesitated a moment, before starting "Well I'm officially the biggest asshole on the planet."

He paused, clearing his throat before continuing, every word blindingly sincere, "I hurt you, I know I did, and I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of that, Kris. That was all just alcohol-misdirected bitterness over Brad leaving. It's not about you or what happened at all. I was just using you to vent like a bitch, and... god, you're getting a divorce, and I threw that all on you..."

He closed his eyes, putting his forehead into his hand as his voice gradually lost its composure.

"I'm so fucking sorry, you didn't deserve that. You took the time to care about me before telling me you're divorcing, and my diva mouthing off is what you get in return... I've been wanting to see you so fucking badly, I just... Please call me back, Kris."

Adam knew now was no time to be vague about feelings, so he bared himself even further, the words not adequate to describe what he felt, but as good as Adam could give.

"I.. I'm not gonna pretend here. I need you. And I can't... change that."

Adam slid the phone shut, dropping it onto the coffee table. Now he could only wait, and hope for forgiveness he didn't deserve.

He flipped through the TV channels without paying them the slightest attention-- half of his brain was replaying the anger in Kris' voice, while the other imagined what it would be like to hold him, and never have to let go.

~

Adam about jumped out of his skin when his phone began ringing an excruciatingly drawn-out hour later, and he yanked it open, rushing out a "Hello?"

"Adam."

His voice was quiet and indecipherable, and Adam didn't hesitate a beat.

"Oh god, Kris, I'm so sorry, I-"

"I want to see you, too," Kris softly cut in, words gentle. Time seemed to stall and stretch around those words, and then, in a sudden, dizzying rush, the tension left Adam's body, leaving him slumped back against the sofa.

"I can't believe I dumped my issues on you like that, Kris," Adam continued, entire body light with relief.

"It's okay, Adam, I get it," Kris replied. "You've been hurting."

Adam paused for a moment, then asked "Are you okay? Why are you...? Oh god, is this over what happened?"

"No," Kris quickly assured him, "It's not. It'd been rocky for a while... We fight over little insignificant things we would have laughed about before, we don't communicate right, like we did when we were dating... We basically don't see eye-to-eye anymore. I just can't... relate to her like I used to. I don't feel connected to her like I used to."

Adam was silent for a moment, thinking of how that sounded all too familiar. But it couldn't be for the same reasons, Adam thought, no.

"...I'm sorry, Kris, I can't even imagine.." Adam quietly replied.

 

"It's okay, Adam. I'm okay," Kris said, and he really did sound okay. A little sad, a little worn, but still the same old Kris, and that brought Adam more relief than the forgiveness had. "I can see now that it wasn't right."

Adam fiddled with one of his rings, listening to Kris' soft breaths whispering through the line. "Well, you'll be fine. You'll find the right someone eventually." Those words stirred up a sadness in Adam that he couldn't quite nail down.

Kris was silent for a few long seconds, and just as Adam was going to ask if he was still there, he softly said "I want to see you. Can I come over sometime?"

Adam smiled, his first genuine smile in what felt like an eternity, and replied "Tomorrow. I have the day off. Anytime after twelve, 'kay?" He quickly gave Kris his new address, and he heard the soft scrape as Kris scribbled it down somewhere.

Kris' voice was bright as he replied "Great. I'll be there. Hey, I gotta go, I'm on break from recording. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, Kris."

Adam hung up the phone, feeling ridiculously giddy. He resisted the urge to jump around like an over-eager teenage girl.

He could admit to himself now that he wanted Kris, wanted to be with him, but he wouldn't push Kris. He didn't even know if Kris still felt the things he had before... but tomorrow would tell. That he was sure of.

 

﻿


	6. Chapter 6

Adam slept straight through till 10:30 the next day, dragging himself up to shower after a few lazy minutes in bed. He quickly dressed, brushed his teeth, and worked through his hair and makeup routine, before padding out into the kitchen, his sleepy haze clearing as he remembered his plans with Kris. He bounced up onto his toes in anticipation, resisting his more zealous, fan-girlish urges as he thought of finally seeing the brunette.

He made his coffee, and had just finished his second cup when the doorbell rang. He smiled to himself and glanced over at the clock, reading 12:06.

Adam trotted over to the door, pulling it open to reveal Kris, standing there with his hands in his pockets and a half-smile on his face. "You said anytime after twelve."

Adam grinned and met him in a hug, Kris' small frame fitting perfectly into his arms as he said "Hey, there."

"Long time no see, Lambert," Kris greeted, smiling up at him as he pushed the door shut behind him with his foot, his brown eyes warm and familiar. And it felt like the most perfectly natural thing in the world to lean down and capture those smiling lips into a soft, tender kiss.

Kris exhaled a puff of air, letting his mouth fall open as his lips slid sweet against Adam's, his fingers moving up to twine into his raven hair.

Adam tried to back off a moment later when his mind reminded him, um, hello, Mr. Not-going-to-push-him, but Kris' hands in his hair anchored him close.

"No, Adam," Kris quietly protested, locking gazes with the taller man. "It's good. More."

He stretched up and pressed his lips to Adam's again, softly sliding his tongue along his full bottom lip.

"But, Kris..." Adam said, pulling his lips back again, "You just filed for divorce."

"I know, but that doesn't change... C'mere," Kris said, taking Adam's hand and leading him over to sit with him on the couch.

"Adam, I didn't tell you everything about why me and Katy decided to divorce. Ever since that night... I can't stop thinking about wanting to see you. I want you, Adam, and... I tried with Katy, I really did, but... I don't think anyone else will be enough. I loved Katy, but you... I need you," Kris said, voice quietly earnest.

"Kris.." Adam said, looking over at him, "I do, too. But I can't guarantee it'd work."

"Nobody could guarantee that," Kris softly replied, reaching up to gently touch his fingertips to Adam's jaw. "But I want to try. I really, really do. I want to be with you for longer than just awhile." He let his fingers drop back into his lap, his eyes following them. "But, if you're not ready, I get it. I just... just needed to tell you that I am."

Adam hesitated only a moment before reaching over and gently cradling Kris' face in his hands, thumb stroking slowly over his cheek, because he is ready, he's been ready for this since the moment his lips first met Kris'.

"I want to try, too," Adam replied after a moment, voice quietly burning, and Kris' eyes fluttered shut as Adam leaned in, softly pressing a kiss to his lips.

Adam looked down at Kris for a moment before kissing him again, and again, and again, and suddenly, everything just fell into place.

Adam brought his arms down to tighten them around Kris' waist, encouraging him up to sit sideways in his lap, and Kris nestled into the embrace, arms sliding up around his neck as his lips moved gentle with Adam's. They drew apart slowly a long minute later, lips pulling into a soft pucker before parting.

"I've been wanting this so bad, baby," Adam quietly told him, kissing the top of his head. Kris nodded in agreement and sighed contentedly, nuzzling happily against his neck.

"Thank you," Kris told him softly, stretching up to steal another kiss, just a gentle brush of lip to lip, but it said everything, all the things they hadn't yet found the words to express.

"You've got that one backwards, baby," Adam murmured in response, reclaiming Kris' lips and basking in the sensations as the emptiness, so recently conspicuous to Adam, was filled.

-fin-


End file.
